All six Grade 8 classes are taken by me once a week and the topic recently was 'The Wynberg Brand'. I was keen to find out whether they thought that our brand was really 'burnt' into our boys as the name implies. 'Friendliness' is a key point of the Brand and we like to think that it really is the first feature which strikes the visitor to Wynberg.
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| The Wynberg Brand |
'Oh, yes!' was the unanimous verdict of all the classes - all of whom have only been at the school for a mere eight months. There seemed to be no doubt in their minds that no other school could beat us in this department. This was validated recently by a neighbour who was walking her dog around the fields one evening. Groups of boys all stood up and greeted her as she walked passed with her aged Labrador trailing some distance behind.
'Your boys are really friendly and well-mannered,' she remarked as she passed me later while I was watching a cricket match. “However, I had to laugh at one of them who said to the group around him as my dog trundled past: ‘They will be making us stand up for the dogs next!'”
Definitely - but only if it is wearing a dog-jacket in Wynberg colours.
I decided to throw some controversial thoughts at my classes. 'What about between Grades?' I said. 'Is there friendliness between the different age-groups?'
They were not so quick to affirm this answer and various incidents came out in which they felt that older boys should be respecting their feelings more.
'You mean like you respect the feelings of your younger brother?' I said helpfully to the boy who had made this point so determinedly.
'Oh, no - that doesn't count,' he retorted scornfully. 'He is a total pain.'
So began a wonderful discussion.
It was not long before the discussion in every class turned to relations between races in the school with the issue of racial name-calling coming up. A recent incident in a school rugby match, when a Wynberg rugby player was called a 'kaffir' by an opposition player, was vigorously and energetically debated. (Why do the press insist on sanitising it by calling it the 'K- word?)
This is probably the most evocative and emotive word possible to use in South Africa at the moment. There is a wealth of history behind this word. In the end, it is not about the person who uttered it, as it goes way beyond him. It has to be understood in the context of his family, his community and the history of our country.
This of course was all lost on the Grades 8's who launched into this topic with youthful, feisty and innocent vigour.
They did not really understand that these six letters hold immense power and are highly charged with historical passion and a depth of meaning. This means that holding this particular class debate with anyone older than 14 year olds would be akin to walking in a mine field as prejudices take more and more of a grip on the adolescent mind.
The comments ranged back and forth in all those Grade 8 classes.
'I don't mind if you call me a whitey,' declared one of the boys, 'so why can't we call you a ...' and his voice tailed away as (to his credit) his upbringing wouldn't allow him to say the word. There were nods of approval from others in the class who agreed with his sentiment.
Showing a depth of thought and a perspicacity way in advance of his years, one black boy responded. 'It is a venomous word,' he said. 'People who use it intend to insult and to hurt us. I find it degrading. There is no other word as bad as that.'
The white lobby was not quite ready to throw in the towel yet. 'I have heard the K-word and the N-word used plenty of times by black singers in rap songs. So if they themselves can say it, then it can't be all that bad.'
More vigorous nods of approval were evident.
His protagonist was not phased. 'Just because he chooses to demean his heritage, it doesn't mean you are allowed to. Isn't it the same as you running down your mother when you are cross with her? That doesn't mean anyone else can.'
There were a few half- hearted come-back attempts, but the killer punch had been landed.
Personally I think that these words are so racially charged and explosive that no-one should use them. Anywhere. Ever. All of us who are involved in the bringing up of boys know how easily they blurt things out without thinking - be it swearing (but, Sir, you hear it all the time on television); inappropriate comments at inappropriate times; an insulting epithet thoughtlessly uttered.
We adults, can never let these moments of fine learning opportunities pass without making a suitable admonishing remark. If we choose to ignore the comments and allow them to continue uncensored and unchecked, then we give unconscious consent for youngsters to persist in uttering them. Often we are being tested to see if there will be a reaction. The old-fashioned soap-and-water treatment to wash out the mouth is not necessarily the best solution in this instance as it is far preferable to use these moments as springboards to further fruitful discussion.
'Until we started talking about it in class, I never realized what that word really meant,' said another boy in another Grade 8 class having just experienced a light-bulb moment. One of his black classmates had just made the observation that the K- word was the only word he knew which could not be taken back afterwards with an apology once uttered.
I suspect light bulbs were coming on in every Grade 8 class during our discussions over that week.
'Why are you smiling?' asked Business Manager, Emilio Titus, as he met me in the corridor returning to my office after a particularly vigorous debate with one of the classes.
'It has just been affirmed to me yet again why I am in teaching,' I said, 'when I see genuine and meaningful learning taking place. I have just experienced a class where there has been a major shift in boys’ thinking. What a privilege.'
In fact when I think about it, these class debates give real understanding to our boys about the true meaning behind the words of the school song: Brothers in an Endless Chain.
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