The 2012 Science Expo: Only at a Boys’ School ...

‘I don’t really enjoy marking,’ said Ben Thompson to me one evening on the school fields while our respective dogs greeted one another with the normal canine socialising and sniffing routine. ‘However, the exception is the Science Expo.’ I knew what he meant.

I spent an enjoyable hour last Tuesday walking around the Science (and Biology) Expo together with a number of parents and many boys. There was a wonderful atmosphere as the boys were clearly proud of the efforts they had made - especially the thought and the research which they had demonstrated in their displays. All of them were keen to explain to me why their project was special and how it was going to make a difference to mankind.

As a humble Latin teacher, I certainly do not profess to understand the complex and cerebral scientific reflection which clearly went into some of the displays. The making of a jet engine is a case in point. I take my classical hat off to Darren Niland and William Jenkins who constructed a jet engine out of tin cans. ‘And it works,’ William assured me when he saw my incredulous face. Suitably admonished, I was even more impressed by the intelligent questions they were being asked round their stand: ‘What fuel did you use?’ and ‘How did you stop it overheating?’

I have lost faith in the Ancient Romans – surely they had someone intelligent enough to invent something like this jet engine? Asterix and Obelix would have been under pressure then!

Personally I blame it on too many hot baths in Ancient Rome. It addled their brains. Those English public schools had the right solution: Bring back cold showers – and invent jet engines!

Without doubt, Michael van der Valk drew the biggest crowd with his self-built radio controlled car which was whizzing through the onlookers. He wanted to see what positive effect light-weight ‘spoilers’ would have on the cornering of those who raced model cars.

Daiyaan Edwards made a valiant effort to prove that perpetual motion as a source of energy was possible but in the end, even he failed where thousands of scientists had fallen short before him and he was humble enough to concede defeat in his conclusion.

Our new border collie pup, Storm, has nearly mastered perpetual motion – if 17 hours a day of non-stop running is anything to go by. Daiyaan is in good company as even Storm has admitted defeat for those remaining seven hours a day.

Hafeez Sonday and Joshua Deschamps set out to discover what brand of cigarette leaves the most nicotine. They took 6 well-known brands, some tissues and a vacuum cleaner to provide the suction. ‘I don’t know why they wasted a vacuum cleaner,’ said a (nameless) matric standing in front of me - not realising who was behind him. ‘I would have done the test for them to save the electricity!’

Clearly our ‘green drive’ is getting through to our senior pupils.

The project’s conclusion that there was not much difference between smoking mild or ‘normal’ cigarettes will surely come as a shock to generations of schoolboys around the world who thought they were protecting their lungs by inhaling packets of mild cigarettes.

Hafeez and Joshua had more bad news for smokers. Their research had shown them that every cigarette costs a smoker five to twenty minutes of life. Their final conclusion was emphatic – the only solution was not to smoke at all. ‘Don’t know what they are talking about,’ sniffed the knowledgeable, but still nameless, matric boy before drifting off to find another project that wouldn’t jolt him out of his comfort zone.

Top cricketers, Dylan van der Mescht and Nicki Zeeman, had great fun swallowing cans of Red Bull - all in the cause of Science - to prove (well, to themselves at any rate…) that copious amounts of caffeine does increase reaction time. That should impress our Business Manager as there will now be a considerable cost saving for the school cricket budget next summer – no need to maintain cricket nets or provide coaches. They probably didn’t study a nearby project by Caleb Schultz whose conclusion was that fizzy drinks corroded teeth, enlarged the waistline and damaged intestinal walls.

But those minor details are not a concern for adolescent boys.

Dylan Wichman wanted to prove that Under Armour, which seemed to me to be the modern version of Superman’s underpants, lived up to its advertising in improving athletic performance. He ended up by showing that the performance of his test athletes was increased by between two to three percent. In his personal case, his vertical jump height from a standing position had improved by 20 millimetres (5%) when he put on this Under Armour.

Being a true Wynberg boy he chose to put on display three very acceptable young ladies wearing (marginally) expanded versions of Superman’s underwear. I have never heard of Nina Dobrev, Kim Kardashian and Alicia Sacramone, but I have no doubt that if I saw them wearing in real life wearing Under Armour, my vertical jump height from a standing position would have improved by 10%.

Dylan van Zyl set out to prove that a rugby ball could not be passed backwards when on the run. He was insistent that Relative Velocity (both Latin derivatives but I am not sure how they apply to Science) ensured that the rugby ball could only go backwards if both parties were stationary. Someone should have told this to the much maligned World Cup Referee, Bryce Lawrence - maybe we could now claim a post-tournament victory over Australia after all.

I then saw Gordon Taylor, one of the Judges, with a huge smile on his face. ‘I have just proved Devon Larkin’s conclusion wrong,’ he said with relish. Devon huffily maintained that a one-off failure did not negate his conclusion and pleaded with me to have a go on his iPhone with him. He was endeavouring to prove his point that ‘reaction time slows with age.’

I took him on, beat him, and told him ‘now find someone old’. Maybe he should have purloined some of the Red Bull on the Caffeine stand.

Bryan Edwards explaining to an unconvinced Mr Taylor

Bryan Edwards enjoyed his research at the Girls’ School and in his Kenridge neighbourhood by investigating who had the more fun – Blondes, Redheads or Brunettes. ‘I put a lot of effort into this, Sir,’ he assured me with due seriousness. I am sure he did – but I am not sure if this study was scientific enough for the judges of the Expo.

Apparently Blondes came out on top. I didn’t dare study his research stats in how he reached this conclusion.

Matthew Tarr and Jason Kruger might also struggle to convince the judges that their research was genuinely scientific. They, too, decided that research at Wynberg Girls’ High was essential for their project on ‘What Stimulates the Female Mind?’ Twenty girls were given a list of a number of options and the ultimate conclusion will no doubt be disappointing, not to say surprising, to 800 Wynberg boys: Girls like a guy who can cook!

‘Absolute nonsense,’ said my secretary, Glenda Hepworth, when I arrived back in my office and asked her opinion. ‘A man’s wallet is all that interests any female.’

She would have saved Matthew and Jason much research time if she had told them that earlier in the term.

‘Neath the Grey Clock Tower

‘How are you travelling to Grey, Sir?’ asked a Grade 8 boy to me as we were walking across the field on the Wednesday before Grey.

‘I am going up after you on the Red Bus,’ I replied semi-truthfully and he scampered off satisfied.  I did feel a trifle guilty as I settled into my 1-Time aircraft seat with the Cape Times the following morning.   And then I was only half-way through the paper when the plane landed.

I need not have felt guilty though – the boys on the buses loved the camaraderie, the jokes, the banter and the spirit that only a group of boys can engender.  About 500 boys boarded the buses for the 700 kilometre trek to Grey High School in Port Elizabeth.  One parent wrote afterwards:  My son couldn’t wait to get into the car on Thursday afternoon to meet his friends on the bus .  To be honest I don’t think he slept at all that night as he woke me at 3:20 am to tell me it’s time to get up – THAT NEVER HAPPENS!!

The buses did not leave without incident.  One bus had to wait because the 1st XV full back had left his boots at home!   Another bus had a puncture before even making it out of the suburb of Wynberg.  Another bus was pulled off the road at Swellendam to be weighed and was found to be overweight (Huh? With schoolboys who were told to bring only two small bags?? Maybe it was all the tuck they brought…).

Anyway, someone resourceful told the boys to move to the back when the front axle was weighed and then reverse the procedure when the back axle was weighed.  This seemed to do the trick.

Shaun Hewett, our second team hockey coach, took the easy way out and swallowed some sleeping tablets.  Unfortunately for him, they had an interesting effect on his digestion and he visited most of the rest rooms of the petrol stations on the way up.  Those rest rooms were a popular destination later that day as various boys had to learn the hard way about the quality of meat pies purchased in roadside cafes!

All this was lost on Gregg Davis, our u16B coach.  He found his seat, curled up and was asleep before the buses had left Lover’s Walk.  He did not get out of the bus once and had to be woken in PE.  ‘I am a professional traveller,’ he told an group of bemused teachers that night who were astounded that anyone could sleep through the noise and the thumping music (?) of the bus.

It is hard work being a first-year teacher – you have to take forty winks whenever  the opportunity arises!

Spare a thought for Mike Leresche, coach of the u14C rugby team, who had to ease his six foot seven frame into a seat designed for a normal torso.  He was very grumpy by the time he arrived at Grey, and collecting his boys together the following morning,  told them in no uncertain terms that he had not spent 13 hours in a bus to watch them lose.  The message was not lost on his boys who repeated the instruction at every scrum:  ‘Remember that bus trip, Chaps!’

It worked and the u14C emerged as 24 - 12 victors!

I spent the first night as a guest at the Old Grey Reunion Dinner in splendid surroundings of a marquee in the grounds of the Old Grey Club.  450 Old Greys attended. It was a wonderful occasion and I was treated royally and not put off at all by the fact that 449 Old Greys took it in turns to inform me what the results of the rugby game would be on Saturday.

I failed to make it the following morning to see the fishermen off to the Sundays River, the surfers and bodyboarders off in their quest to find the perfect wave and the golfers destined to enjoy a windfree day at the Humewood Golf Course.  Instead I went to the Reunion Assembly in the Grey High School Hall where I was invited to address the school and a number of Old Greys who had survived the previous evening festivities.

I informed the assembled company that the first contacts between Wynberg and Grey went back to 1841 when six schoolmasters were brought out from Scotland to assist with the starting of various new schools around the Cape Colony.  John McNaughton took six months to start Wynberg  which opened on June 1st while John Paterson took 15 years to push-start the Grey Institute. No-one found my comment that things move slowly in the Eastern Cape – even in those days - particularly amusing.

I told them about our Rugby Festival a few weeks before where some Wynberg old boys, wearing their Old Boys’ ties had come up to greet me.  They had some Old Greys in tow who were also proudly wearing their Old Grey ties.  One of them  told me that he was visiting ‘his’ Cape Town school and was sharing university digs with the same Wynberg boy who had hosted him in his trips to Cape Town with Grey over the years!

Now that makes the whole Grey / Wynberg exercise really special.

After the assembly, I did the rounds of the table tennis, squash and biathle.  I eventually settled into listening to a fascinating senior debate.  Grey were proposing that Malema was now no longer a threat as he had no future out of the ANC.  This was vigorously opposed by Michael Cheney, Sphu Mnikina and Siyabonga Beyile.  They succeeded in convincing the judges that Malema would remain a threat wherever he was which is not particular good news for South Africa.

Grey Trooping the Colour

Pleased with the result of the debate but a trifle depressed for the Rainbow Nation,  I then went to watch the magnificent Trooping of the Colour and had my positivity restored.  The Cadet Band, resplendent in their red uniforms, led the 150 marching cadets in a slow march round the field which was lined with Grade 8’s.  Behind the band, the colour Ensign, escorted by an armed guard,  impressively paraded the school colours to the crowd.  As the colours passed the Grade 8’s, they stood up and proudly saluted their colours.  A most inspiring and emotive ceremony. 

I wish Wynberg offered cadets.

No doubt roused by the Ceremony and by the huge crowd which came to the Astro, the Grey hockey team rocked Wynberg on their heels with a quick two goals.  What followed then, was a magnificent display of fast, furious, passionate hockey from both sides.  No-one, whatever their allegiance,  could possibly have left that ground unimpressed with the quality of hockey.  Honours were even after Jason Smith pulled two goals back in the second half.

I sat watching the game with Kevin Musikanth, our Director of Rugby, and Daniel Ramage, Master in Charge of Hockey.  Daniel spent the entire game on his ipad sending updates to the Hockey Facebook Page.  He couldn’t keep up with the number of people who were coming back indicating they were viewing the site.  The same happened on Saturday with the rugby as well.  Peter Murison, a past Wynberg rugby coach, now in Korea, later emailed me to say that although it was early hours of the morning in Korea, following the exciting rugby match had kept him up.

The power of the social media continues to astound me.

It was a beautiful day on Saturday with not a cloud in the sky.  The Grey fields were awash with rugby and hockey matches – and the atmosphere was festive.  I have never seen so many Wynberg parents attend the Grey festivities and I found myself greeting parents at every turn.  ‘All matches at Grey will be test matches,’ warned Mr van Schalkwyk to the boys in assembly the previous week – and how right he was.  Nothing exemplified this more than the gutsy display on both sides in the u16A rugby match where the lead exchanged hands a number of times – eventually ending up in favour of Grey.

With the 2nd XV setting the tone with an exciting win, we were finally ready for the big match.  As we settled into our seats, one of the Grey staff near me remarked that he thought that this was the biggest crowd he had seen at a Reunion Weekend.  We later heard that they had taken in R25 000 at the gate.

Accompanied by the beating of a bass drum and the school flag, the team came on and stood before their Wynberg stand to sing the school song together.  Something must have worked because first blood went to Wynberg when the skipper, Justin Scott, scythed through the defence from a set move after a scrum.  Penalties were then exchanged and the match settled down at 10 –  3.

My phone went off.  It was Jeff Sternslow, an Old Boy Committee member in Cape Town. ‘You are not going to blow this, are you?’ he said. ‘I have a R50 bet with an Old Grey, Keith Clark.’

No pressure.

Keith Clark must have sent an urgent message to the Grey coach because the home side slowly fought back and eventually with twenty minutes to go were in a convincing 21 – 10 lead.  The Grey stand were enjoying the moment.  Play on the field was temporally put aside.

‘You are not singing anymore,’ they admonished the Wynberg boys.  Stung into action, the Wynberg stand responded, singing lustily:

Men of Wynberg… We come to sing….. All your pride again……   Fought and paid for…….

The Grey stand then responded in turn by shouting:  Scoreboard, Scoreboard and in case anyone missed the point, eight hundred Grey boys pointed in the direction of the scoreboard.  Now that they had the way pointed out to them, the Wynberg rugby team moved inexorably towards the Grey try line  conveniently situated in front of the said scoreboard. Left wing, Josh de Stadler, delighted the Wynberg crowd by scoring in the corner.  Jordan Lamoral, relieved that he had his rugby boots after all, unerringly eased the conversion  over - off the inside of the post -  and the match was on.

Wynberg sent wave after wave onto the Grey line which stood rock firm.  Fortunately with less than a minute on the clock, which was on the same scoreboard pointed out to us by Grey, Wynberg opted to move the ball down the line in a move which eventually ended up with outside centre, Jarryd Sage, putting all of us out of our misery.  A one point victory – the first ever victory over Grey by a Wynberg lst XV rugby team!  Boys Own Magazine would have waxed lyrical!

Later in the week, the rugby report on the Grey website suggested that an infringement had been missed by the referee.  This was of no concern to 500 ecstatic Wynberg boys who poured onto the field to congratulate their team.  Never was the school song sung with such gusto!

Kevin Musikanth and I walked across the field to congratulate the boys and met an excited Wynberg boy.  ‘You must be a proud Old Boy,’ he said to Kevin.

‘I am always a proud Old Boy,’ he replied. ‘Now I am even more proud.’

I hope Keith Clark remembers to pay his R50.

Later that evening, I asked Vice Captain, Riaan O’Neil , what they did after the game.  ‘The Grey players came and had pizzas with us,’ he said.  ‘They were really nice guys.’

Quite right too.  He might be sharing digs with one of them in a few years time.

The following morning, Neil Crawford took me to the airport to catch the Red Bus home.  In the car, his cell phone bleeped with an incoming SMS.  He read it out to me:  Some good news, Rector. All is not doom and gloom.  Grey won the interschools dancing competition at Collegiate yesterday.

The sentiment was appreciated, but for the sake of the Rector’s blood pressure, it probably wasn’t the most tactful time to inform him of this news.

Wynberg Boys Marching to London

There have many, many occasions in my office over the last few years when Wynberg Old Boys come to see me to chat about their University careers.‘I am thinking about a possible change to teaching,’ they say. The reasons they give are varied and interesting: ‘I really cannot see myself sitting at a desk checking figures for the rest of my life.’

‘I want to do something to improve the planet.’

‘I really enjoyed my schooldays. I would now like to make a difference to someone else’s life.’

I invariably smile to myself. Ask a hall full of schoolboys how many are thinking of a career in teaching – and there will be roars of laughter. Teaching? What are you smoking? There is an exciting world out there – don’t ruin it by suggesting that we come back to these hallways full of memories of exams, detentions, reams of homework.

And now some students are wanting to come back to teach. What has caused the change in thinking?

Dr Max Price

Dr Max Price was the Guest Speaker at our 2012 Prizegiving and his speech gives us a clue.  He told us that the adults on stage were on course to live to a hundred while modern medicine could well ensure that the majority of young men sitting in front of him would go well beyond that. He intimated that a second career would be almost essential for the modern teenager as no-one could contribute meaningfully in a sixty-year working life dedicated to one career.

To prove the point, Dr Price told the audience that he himself had done a BA Degree after his Medical Degree. I saw horror on the faces of the parents present and I could just see what was going through their minds ... What? Not another three years of tuition fees!

But in all seriousness, the pressure is now really on the Teachers of today to produce thoughtful and inquisitive young men who have a variety of interests and who are capable of switching to careers which in all probability haven’t even been thought of yet.

It reminded me of what one of our guest speakers at a Ten Club meeting last year, David Klatzow, forensic scientist and author of ‘Steeped in Blood’ told the boys: ‘Pick up every scrap of information you can – you never know when you may use it. Learning, in and out of the classroom, is never wasted.’   So true.

At the conclusion of Dr Price’s Prizegiving talk to the school, Deputy Head Prefect, Riaan O’Neil went up to thank him. ‘Does this really mean,’ he asked incredulously,‘that Wynberg could have Mr Richardson as Headmaster for the next twenty five years?’

With a wisecrack like that, Riaan will be lucky if he has his Matric in the next twenty five years.

To those eager young students coming to speak to me about their futures, I point out a few home truths. ‘You are destined to be driving a Honda not Porsche,’ I told the one soon-to-be-an-ex actuarial student, Anthony Selley, now on our staff.

The plusses I tell them? How does one communicate the joy of a coach when he sees a young batsmen finally play the shot which they have been practicing for weeks in the nets together? Or the pleasure of a teacher when a pupil pulls off a 76% in Maths when he had barely passed it in Grade 9 – as happened to Michael Moffett in Matric last year?

How do you put a price on this email which came in on Wednesday last week: You have probably been wondering what happened to me for the past two years. I want to thank you for everything you have done for me but I just don't know where to begin ...

He didn’t know when to end either – because in heartfelt fashion it went on for some pages. It ended like this:

In the past two years I have been places but there is no place like Wynberg. I guess its true, when you are a school boy, you don't realize how privileged and lucky you are until you leave. Being at Wynberg was a privilege that I would never forget. I'll always be a proud Wynberg man.

Is it not all worth it when, as a teacher, you sit in the stand at the Wanderers as an invited guest to watch India play South Africa – and two Wynberg Old Boys, Jacques Kallis and Richard Levi, are opening the batting for South Africa? A normal human rib cage is not capable of containing that pride!

It happened again at 8:00 am on Sunday morning (6 May) when the cameras panned on the four Wynberg Hockey Old Boys singing the National Anthem with gusto before their crucial cup final game in Japan to decide on that last place for the London Olympics.

How do you describe, to a non-teacher, that feeling of absolute delight and sheer pleasure when one of ‘your’ boys does well? When Lloyd Norris-Jones scored the goal which eventually decided the match? No Porsche, no bank account can replace that.

Thank you Rhett, Ian, Jonty and Lloyd. You reminded me of why I am in teaching. Good luck in London. Enjoy being Olympians.